the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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