you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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