Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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