and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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