The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize