jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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