You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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