obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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