When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We're too hungover to prance.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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