Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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