At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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