yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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