Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize