Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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