you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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