Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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