Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize