im drinking this country out of the recession.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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