I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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