It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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