i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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