it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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