I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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