i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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