your room smells of hookers.
And success
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize