He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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