I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
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He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
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My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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