My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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