This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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