positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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