All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
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I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
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Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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