you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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