Your face is a jimmy john
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize