If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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