I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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