I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize