im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize