its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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