I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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