Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
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If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
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Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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