I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Holy sore nipples Batman
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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