and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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