I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize