my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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