a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize