My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm both gender and math confused
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize