No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
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There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
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The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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