covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
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I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
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He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
what the fuck happened to the tacos
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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