The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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