hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
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tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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